


The Circle Game

by TheButcherOfBlaviken



Series: Bookends [13]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Established Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, F/F, Hopeful Ending, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Sad Alex Danvers, Sad Lena Luthor, Super baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22139236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheButcherOfBlaviken/pseuds/TheButcherOfBlaviken
Summary: There was going to be birthdays, baby teeth would be lost, there would be graduations and changes. The future held so much for her and her future child.If what Alura told her of Rao was anything to go by though, she knew she had a front row seat for everything that was coming.She hoped Kara loved what she was going to seeLena learns some exciting news.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: Bookends [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1592278
Comments: 13
Kudos: 156





	The Circle Game

**Author's Note:**

> joni mitchell song. this one hit me with feelings. i think its also cause i really like thise song. this is the last angsty fic, i promise. the next one is going to end on a real happy note. let me know what you think! i hope you like it like i do, until next time friends!

Lena had been feeling off since Kara’s funeral for obvious reasons. Her world was flipped upside down and she was still figuring out how to put it right side up.

At first, she thought she was just sick with literal heartache when she began to throw up in the waste basket in Kara’s bedroom every morning. Brushed it off as her body reacting to Kara’s death physically.

But when the immediate pain of Kara’s death disappeared, when weeks passed and she was still sick, she began to worry.

_Was she dying? Did she get some alien disease? Was she poisoned!?_

Fearing the worst, Lena rushed to Alex, explaining what was happening. The woman, who had become much like a sister in the weeks since _it_ happened, quickly calmed her down and started some tests.

All it took was a blood test to give her answer.

She sat in Alex’s lab, wringing her hands in her lap as she waited anxiously to find out what the hell was wrong.

She tried to distract herself by reading the various numbers on the machines in the room, their beeping and blinking lights diverting her attention from terrible thoughts.

She was pulled from her activity when Alex walked in, flipping through papers on a clipboard, the noise of the pages grating against Lena’s ears.

She was surprised when Alex looked up from the papers and smiled. Lena frowned.

“it looks like you're potentially having my niece or nephew Lena” Alex let the papers fall back down on the clipboard. Lena stared in shock.

“but how?” she whispered, looking at Alex in confusion.

“I'm not entirely sure. Kryptonian biology is still mostly a mystery since there have only been 2 of them on our Earth. But the tests showed hints of Kara’s DNA mixed with yours”

Alex could see the panic on the brunette’s face and decided to drop the doctor act for now. She tossed the clipboard on a nearby table and sat beside her. She put an arm around her shoulder. Alex held her tight, pulling Lena together as she threatened to fall apart.

“if you don’t want it Lena, I understand.” The woman whispered to her, rubbing small circles with her thumb as Lena began to cry, her voice drowning out the sound of the machines, replacing them instead with a song of utter sadness.

“don’t feel like yo-“ Alex was cut off as Lena shook her head violently, as if she was physically fighting the idea of not having the baby.

“no, it’s not that.” She sobbed, turning into Alex’s embrace, handfuls of the other woman’s shirt in her grasp.

“she’s going to miss it all Alex” she cried.

Kara would miss their birth, their first steps and first words. She knew Kara would kick herself that she couldn’t be there and for that reason, Lena was tempted to not have the baby.

Even if she was gone, Lena didn’t want to break her heart.

On the other hand, that baby was the last gift Kara would give her. It was a labor of love from the both of them. Lena didn’t want to be 26 and pregnant but there was nothing more she wanted then to have a family with Kara, and this was as close as she could get to that now.

Alex nodded along to her reasoning, tears materializing in her eyes.

“that little kid will know everything about Kara, and they’ll be surrounded by people who love them.” Alex pulled Lena’s head into her neck as the woman cried.

She was happy for the baby, beyond happy truthfully, but she knew if she turned to her side, Kara wasn’t there to celebrate with her.

She didn’t know what name Kara would want; they hadn’t reached that subject yet.

Would they have bought a house in the suburbs? Painted a nursery in their excitement? Would they want another one?

All these questions made her miss Kara even more then she already did.

Alex took her home and left her to her thoughts, Lena electing to call Eliza with the news tomorrow. For now, she would process everything.

When Lena opened the door to Kara’s apartment, she knew she couldn’t stay there much longer. A baby wouldn’t fit in this little home. Maybe she would see if Eliza wanted to move in, to be closer to her future grandchild.

She also knew that her penthouse wouldn’t do for a baby either. Too many outlets and stairs and far too cold to be home to a miniature ball of sunshine.

If they were anything like her Kara, they would be full of warmth and happiness, she would make sure of it.

She imagined moving into a house just outside the city, with a backyard big enough for a dog and a child to run around. Lena knew if they had a house, Kara would want a dog. She would grow a garden and teach Kara how to not kill plants after a few weeks.

The more Lena thought of it, the more the child changed and grew in her mind. she imagined a little boy, the spitting image of Kara. He would run around during the summer, catching dragonflies in jars, staring at them in pure wonder.

They would watch the sky at night, and he would cry at the thought of a falling star. She would comfort him and tell him about a falling star she met, one that fell into her life and brightened it beyond compare.

They would go to carnivals, like the one Kara forced to her to go when they first started dating. She would take pictures as he rode round and round on a colorful merry go round, the painted ponies pulling him up and down. He would wave as he passed, that bright smile on his face not unlike Kara’s.

She imagined life was a lot like that, a merry go round that always went on, in one direction. Never to turn back, never letting them off. They couldn’t return to what they had, where they came from. They just had to keep going around in a game of circles.

She went forward more. A ten-year-old boy, pouting at her in true Kara fashion when she denied his requests to fight bad guys like his Jeju did. She would tell him ‘when you're older’, the promise of someday making new dreams, and it would have to appease him.

She thought of vacations they would have together, showing him how to skate in the same way Kara showed her, his hands in her own as she skated backwards. His laughter playing In her ears.

He would get older still, his sweet 16 spent switching cartwheels for car wheels when Alex took him driving in the old car Lena would buy him for his birthday.

As a teenager he would want to go fast, get to adulthood as quickly as possible. She would warn him to slow down, to take his time and enjoy what little childhood he had left. That one day his feet will drag, no matter how hard he tries to move them so best take the it all in willingly now, before you're forced to.

She stopped imagining when he hit twenty. His child like wonder would have died down, old dreams becoming duller with age. They would be replaced with new ones, better ones. He would go out into the world and make it better, just like Kara.

Lena walked further inside, on a collision course with a picture framed on the wall. It was a picture James had taken of them at game night. Lena was smiling, Kara’s lips pressed against her cheek. She put her hands on her stomach and smiled at the photo.

She wanted nothing more than for Kara to get to see it all in person.

There was going to be birthdays, baby teeth would be lost, there would be graduations and changes. The future held so much for her and her future child.

If what Alura told her of Rao was anything to go by though, she knew her love had a front row seat for everything that was coming.

She hoped Kara loved what she was going to see.

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up at geralt-of-fking-rivia on tumblr if youve got some prompts or anything, i dont bite swear


End file.
